Dan Bilzerian is predictable man. Join his legion of Instagram followers and you will be greeted with images of vastly expensive cars, vastly expensive superyachts, vastly expensive automatic weapons and some less vastly expensive women.
But recently he announced that he had gone on a short tour of Europe with fellow gambler, Bill Perkins, and would release a video charting his experiences shortly after.
So how did Bilzerian enjoy the 16th century charms of Venice? The cleansing hot springs of Iceland? And the passeggiatan delights of the stunning Sardinian coastline?
By sailing around in massive superyachts full of girls in bikinis. Obviously.
Dan Bilzerian and the other douchebags of Instagram
“Lord Disick” is technically just the entitled appendage of the Kardashian clan. Obnoxious as he is, there’s no denying this man is amusing. His Instagram feed is mostly just an homage to himself and a pat on his own back for his sense of style.
Fun fact: Disick bought a knighting ceremony for himself over the internet, since which he’d beseech you, please, refer to him as “The Lord”. You peasant.
This Entrepreneur matches his bracelet to his watch and then to his supercar. Every day. Then he logs this sartorial achievement on his Instagram feed. Every day.
Essentially a glorified party photographer, the “slut whisperer” rose to fame with his infamous ability to convince half naked girls to take champagne facials for the camera. He now reportedly gets paid five figures (and that’s not rupees, folks) for each party he covers, with velvet-rope access thanks to his DJ friends.
John Gustafsson’s douchebaggery seems eternally fuelled by an endless supply of Moët. He even bathes in the stuff.
Named Instagrams biggest jerk; It’s Lavish Bitch seems like one big publicity stunt. There has been a lot of speculation about whether his account is a fake, but after a year of laying low he’s back and more obnoxious than ever. Lavish’s hobbies include: trolling celebrities whose net worth he finds insufficient, designer everything, wads of cash through carefully chosen filters and looking down on the plebs of the world. Whether his daddy is on Forbes or not is up for debate but theres no denying his internet infamy and lavish lifestyle.
We can respect the fact that Tomer Sror is self made but his ostentatious lifestyle plastered all over social media is nothing short of obnoxious. Intended to be ‘inspiring’ his Instgram feed is basically a massive f*ck you to his humble beginnings. It screams new money and no taste.
His surname sounds like an unearthly sum of money, sort of like the one he inherited. Professional poker player and venture capitalist, his followers have crowned Dan ‘Blitz’ Bilzarian: King of Instagram. Seemingly free of any moral, financial and legal restraints Bilzarian’s feed consists of mainly guns and pairs of buns.
A few millions short of best bud Dan Bilzarian isn’t gonna stop Tony. When he’s not cementing the fact that he doesn’t give a f*ck, he’s revelling in the women/cars/champagne that being stupidly rich will get you.
Essentially the Australian rip-off of Hugh Hefner, this tobacco tycoon lives in the “Candy Mansion”- a harem-esque abode he shares with his wife and her best friend. Incidentally, the best friend also shares his bed, along with a bunch of other bikini-clad babes he affectionately refers to as the ‘Candy Goddesses’. The house even has its own logo: a version of Versace Medusa head pimped out in candy colours. Because, you know, he’s classy like that.
As the scion of a notorious douchebag, Sid Mallya owns his lineage. Seriously, he loves himself so much that you may reconsider hating on him just to figure out what all the hype is about. His fan-base is mostly 16-year-old girls and we’re pretty sure it’s because they find him so relatable. Where else will you find a grown man taking selfies with #vain in every caption?
This kid is the anti-Banksy. Anonymous but still somehow in your face, he propagates pop culture and “the good life”. Think spray-painted designer cards. His idea of art is a cartoon dollar bill on anything expensive. Millenials *eye roll*
MMA fighter Connor McGregor trash-talked his way to the bank and then trash-talked some more. Sure, he gives his opponents a hard time, but knocking them out in 13 seconds flat leads you to wonder what other record time he’s compensating for. Watch him train and spend his fight winning or just, youknow, relaxing with his championship belt on in the back of his Rolls-Royce.
Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson
Spelling out ‘broke’ in hundred dollar bills is probably not the best way to let the courts know you’re legitimately bankrupt. Whether it’s the vodka promotion cash flow, boxing deals or hefty remnants from his once rock-solid rap empire, Fiddy seems to be laughing all the way to the bank.