Beard facial hair

Ever wondered what the fairer sex really thinks about your beard comb? Or if they actually notice if you’ve taken the time to slap on a little conditioner on your moustache? We did, so we polled the female members of GQ’s crack team to find out. Prepare to change your grooming regime, gentlemen.

Your beard highlights your eyes. Sort of like a mascara for men. And a permanent concealer for a weak chin or chicken neck.

Condition the hell out of it. Wiry coils that look like someone’s 100-year-old public hair? No thanks.

Check your beard after eating. Is that a little piece of steak stuck in your chin nest or is it a beard accessory? Neither’s OK.

No more than 1cm. Stubble, absolutely. But not a bush. We don’t need your face brush to remove our makeup. Gross.

There’s a fine line between being kissable and not. Too short and you get that itchy, red inflamed feeling.Too long and it’s like kissing a soft fluffy dog.

Beard combs are completely unacceptable in public. Do you think we want your beard hairs in our Champagne? Just no.

If it helps you stop looking like a 6ft baby, do it. No discernible jawbone? Beards pretty much write “PUBERTY” all over your face.

Having a beard is not an excuse for ostentatious hairiness. Just because you have a beard doesn’t mean you can have a monobrow, nose hair or — god forbid — ear hair. Buy some goddamn tweezers.

If the coverage isn’t even, give up. Beards aren’t for everyone.

Just grow three-day stubble. It looks masculine and hassle free. Besides, full-on beards smell.

No soul patches, please. Ever, ever, ever.

Don’t forget to shave your neck. Ladies like men who wear scarves, not men who have grown their own.

Permanently lasering your beard lines shows dedication. And a certain mania. Avoid unless you know with 100 per cent certainty that you’ll never go through a Lynyrd Skynyrd phase later in life. And how can anyone be sure of that?

Beard grooming essentials you can’t live without

Truefitt & Hill

Truefitt & Hill

1805 Aftershave

You already love its luxuriant shaves and now you can bring home a little bit of that British regalia in the form this cedarwood aftershave. Just don’t splash it on like Macaulay Culkin.

Rs 4,900 for 100ml

Forest Essentials

Forest Essentials

Sandalwood & orange peel shaving cream

It’ll give you a creamy lather, smells fresh and earthy, and is a pecuniary upgrade from your standard chemist-bought shaving foam.

Rs 875 for 100g


Gillette Fusion

Proglide Razor

Want the closest shave and the least hassle possible? You need five blades, and replacement heads that can be found within a three-block radius of anywhere.

Rs 499; cartridges @ Rs 999 for a pack of 4

Philips pro trimmer


Pro skin trimmer

Beard man, eh? Here’s the long-lasting, quick-charging, wallet-respecting face groomer that’ll keep you from approaching mountain man territory.

Rs 1,695  

Philips body groomer


Body groomer

So you can trim yourself in all the right places, pain-free.

Rs 1,295

Beard grooming tips from the editors of GQ


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